Anxiety is at an all-time high. What are we so anxious about? To answer that question, you might give one of many common answers: I’m anxious about this timeline/quota at work I’m anxious about my financial situation I’m anxious about COVID I’m anxious about the political landscape I’m anxious about this job interview The list, of course, could be much longer. There’s no shortage of things...
I’m anti-conclusion. I spend a considerable amount of energy resisting the temptation to come to conclusions. What is a conclusion exactly? Conclusions are defined as the end or finish of an event or process. What’s the process that ends when we come to a conclusion? Thinking ends. Curiosity ends. Exploration ends. The moment we come to a conclusion, we are done learning. Our cup is full. We have...
Which seeds are you watering? A good gardener knows when and how to water the seeds of their fruits and vegetables. You are also a gardener. You have within you all the seeds: seeds of envy, seeds of joy, seeds of greed, seeds of love, seeds of ambition, seeds of contentment. The question is: which seeds are you watering? When I watch the news I find that my seeds of negativity, hate, and...
Settling down is in vogue. “When are you going to settle down?” is a question often asked in modern day society. When I hear that question this is what I hear: “When are you going to stop moving, stop learning, stop growing, stop experiencing?” So, I’m starting a new line of questioning: “When are you going to settle up?” When are you going to settle up...
Run. Run faster. You’re almost 40 and you haven’t achieved enough. Everyone running this race is ahead of you. Look to the left – that woman has more money. She has a bigger job. She owns two properties. Look to your right – that man has published three books and started two businesses. He has his own podcast. I heard he’s worth $12 million, and he’s only 35...
I recently walked past a man sitting on the side of the street talking to himself. He was speaking loudly, with great emotion, and every few sentences the topic of his soliloquy seemed to change dramatically. In one moment, he seemed to be ranting about a woman: “And who does she think she is?! You don’t talk to me like that! Don’t you ever dare talk to me like that!” In...
Unsupervised, children will get into trouble. Breaking dishes, muddying the carpet, drawing on the furniture — you name it. But put a parent or teacher in the room, and they’re much more likely to behave. The simple process of being OBSERVED leads to children behaving better. Same goes with our own minds. Unsupervised, our minds will run rampant. Ruminating, stressing, judging, catastrophizing —...
Mental obesity is on the rise. We all know the symptoms of being physically unfit — obesity, labored breathing, poor strength, chronic illness. We also know exactly what it takes to become physically FIT — exercise, nutrition, sleep. What is less known is what it means to be MENTALLY unfit. What does it mean to be mentally obese? Here are some common symptoms: you find it difficult to focus...
Where do you turn to learn how to live? If you’re like me, you might turn to books. Or mentors. Or podcasts. You might engage in philosophical discourse with friends, family, and colleagues. You might lean into the onslaught of research and studies conducted on the topics of happiness, meaning, and life satisfaction. You might reflect through the practice of journaling. These can all be useful...
Where do you live? To answer that question you might give me a location. Let’s say New York. And though it may be true that you live in New York, you really live in a HOUSE in New York. Let’s say a big house. And though it may be true that you live in a big house in New York, you really live in your HEAD in your big house. You live in between the walls of your head — right there with all your...
The rougher the road, the lighter the grip. I first learned how to ride a motorcycle in Northern Thailand, mostly on bumpy, rocky, winding roads. My natural tendency on many of the bumpy dirt roads was to tighten my grip on the handlebars. The rougher the road, the harder I clenched. Until I realized that by the end of the ride my hands were in such severe pain I couldn’t even open them all the...
The evolution of mankind:
Walk walk walk, hunt, rest rest rest.
Walk walk, farm, rest rest rest.
Walk, farm farm, rest rest.
Sit, farm farm farm, rest rest.
Sit, work, rest rest.
Sit, work work, rest rest.
Sit, work work work, rest.
Sit, coffee coffee coffee, work work work, booze booze booze.
Anytime you choose to think about the past you are trading the present moment in order to do so. This can be useful if you’re reflecting with the intention of learning something, but tread carefully with this trade. Similar to stock trading, there’s a fee for every transaction, and too many trades will leave you bankrupt.
What’s the ROI of meditation? Think of a common annoyance that triggers you. It could be that you’re triggered every time there’s traffic. Or every time someone is late to a meeting. Or every time your partner doesn’t do the dishes. And let’s say that each time you’re triggered you’re in a bad mood of sorts for 5 minutes before you come out of it. And you’re triggered 10 times a day. That’s 50...
Goals can be useful. They give you something to work toward. Goals can also be dangerous. They make you believe that things will be better when you get “there.” Where is “there?” And how will you know when you’re there? Becoming too goal-oriented is to become too future-oriented, and in doing so you put life in a place where it’s always just out of reach. The destination is always just over the...
They say you never get a second chance to make a first impression. So what should one do about this? Conventional wisdom says this: the first impression is a lasting one, so you’d better make it a good one! The onus, it would seem, falls entirely on the one doing the impressing. I think this is backwards. First, we have to ask: why is the first impression so lasting? It seems to me that the first...
I was on a jog, doing my own thing, lost in my own head. Other joggers were coming from the other direction, doing their own thing, lost in their own heads. Until one jogger coming toward me went out of his way to make eye contact and smile. A big warm smile and nod. And it lit me up a bit, gave me a little bump of joy and connection. About a minute later the next jogger came running my way...
They say that a leader must “win the hearts and minds” of their team. I think winning their hearts will do the trick. If you’ve got their heart, the mind will follow. So what’s the best way to win their hearts? One way is to speak to them FROM the heart. Words spoken from the heart land IN the heart. Words spoken from the head land IN the head. Too often, leaders try to inspire their teams...
What are your expectations of life? I’d heard plenty about the infamous “Delhi Belly” before my first trip to India — the fact that many first-time visitors get sick from the food. So I told myself ‘Hey look, you wanna go see the world, you’re gonna get sick. That’s the deal.’ I tried to accept the fact before it happened. When I DID get sick it was, in a way, okay. That’s what I was expecting...
Wherever you are on your personal and professional journey, you are (hopefully) growing and you are (hopefully) evolving. To evolve is to become something else; to become someone else. You are no longer the person you were before. But what happens if the people around you are not growing and evolving in the same way, or at the same pace? As a young boy playing soccer, my father moved me off of...
